What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
