call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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