the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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