i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
