Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My breasts were aching with rage.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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