I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
