some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize