I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
