My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
