I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
