WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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