I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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