i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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