You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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