What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
