so that wasnt chicken after all
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
