Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
