Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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