I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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