its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
