i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
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we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!