It's Friday. Sex?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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