I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
