is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize