He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
