Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Houston, we have a squirter
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
