Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
