I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize