sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
