I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
