Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
