Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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