it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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