You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
