the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
