this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
