You just made me feel so damn special
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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