Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
