i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize