You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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