North Korea, Best Korea!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
