forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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