return my video game
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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