did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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