thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
