Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
