Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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