I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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