Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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