my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
