Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
