I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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