Acid is not a monday night drug
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
