come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
