I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
