I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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