My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
