singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
