Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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